Will your wedding be the union of you and your spouse
PLUS your and/or his children? Congratulations! Remember — the ceremony is the
most deeply meaningful component of your wedding, especially for your children.
When you involve your kids in the ceremony, you are essentially making a
promise to them that you and your new spouse will always be there to love and
support them. Here are some ideas for getting the children involved and making
them feel included in your wedding.
During the reading of the vows and the unity ceremony, ask the children to
stand with you. Some couples are even choosing to incorporate promises to their
kids directly into their marriage vows. For example:
I, [NAME], as your new step-[MOM/DAD], vow to love and care for you as
long as I live.
Feel free to write your own vows to your children. Incorporate anything you
feel will bear significance to your kids, even if it’s a little silly. The
important thing here is to make it known to your kids that your marriage is a
renewed promise to them — in addition to a new promise to your spouse.
The lighting of the unity candle is another moment that
naturally lends itself to the honoring of your children. After the bride and
groom light their unity candle, they can provide each of their children with a
taper candle to light from the parents’ pillar candle. Choose our personalized, blended family
candle, which features the names of the entire family for a special touch of
significance.
If the unity candle ceremony is not your cup of tea (or
if your kids aren’t quite old enough to be safe in the vicinity of open flame),
consider a new alternative that involves sand of various colors. The bride, groom and all the children choose a colored sand
to represent themselves, which is poured into a vase prior to the ceremony. They then simultaneously pour their sand into a family
vase, which ultimately symbolizes the individual family members joining to make a
beautifully blended masterpiece.
Couples
who choose these types of ceremonies typically either mention the significance
of the event in the wedding program or they ask the officiant to speak about the symbolism of the event, so guests
can follow along — and to publicly honor the kids.
You could also ask your less shy children to read poems or Bible passages — or
even an original work — to honor the special occasion.
As a final note, make sure you take a few moments throughout
this harried stage of your life to stop and talk with your kids about their
feelings. Even the most well-adjusted children sometimes feel anticipation or
even anxiety about their parent's upcoming wedding. Assure them that no matter
what happens in this world, one thing will never change: your love for them.
Best Wishes and enjoy!
