Tag Archives: wedding etiquette

Jean M’s Etiquette Tips for Grooms – Part II

Want your man to get more involved in the wedding plans? Here are more ideas for the groom’s to-do list.

HoneymoonHoneymoon

Traditionally your groom will plan and pay for the honeymoon on his own, but nothing says this is set in stone. If you find you’re the one handling all the other arrangements and don’t have time to go back and forth with your travel agent a million times, this might be a good thing to hand off to him with your blessing.

Marriage LicenseHis Vows/Your Ring/The Marriage License

These should be a coordinated effort between your guy and his best man. With everything you have to worry about these three things should not be on your radar.

The Reception

If his parents are contributing to the reception, then let the groom be the go-between to ensure there’s no tension if a problem arises over guest list or catering/alcohol costs.

Wedding Gifts

You shouldn’t bear the brunt (or the carpal tunnel) of filling out a hundred thank-you cards. Divide and conquer, handing off the ones addressed to his friends and family to be written and signed personally by him.

Don’t miss Monday’s post for Part I of etiquette tips for grooms.

Enjoy planning together!

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Jean M’s Wedding Etiquette Tips for Grooms – Part I

You know what YOU need to do to make your wedding day perfect (sending out invitations, picking just the right venue, finding the dress of your dreams, etc., etc., etc.), but does your groom even have a clue what he needs to do for the wedding?

GroomToday’s modern bride and groom need to work together to pull off the perfect wedding. That means your guy has to do some heavy lifting on his own to ensure everything goes off without a hitch.

So what’s on his to-do list? Here’s a quick rundown:

The Engagement Party

If his family or your family is intent on celebrating your engagement, it’s his responsibility to provide contact information for his friends and relatives so invitations or emails can be sent out in a timely manner. In between party prep, both you and he should make a concerted effort to bring your families together so they have a chance to meet and get to know each other before your big day.

Groomsmen
Groomsmen

Though you can make suggestions for people to include in his half of the bridal party (your brother, your sister’s husband, etc.), your groom is on his own when it comes to making the final decision. This should be done within 4-6 months of your exact wedding date or even sooner if you’re planning a destination wedding.

Tuxes

Talk about tuxedo styles and his comfort level with formal wear. Then, the initial appointment should be made by your man and include all his guys. Typically, a groom will negotiate a group price and then schedule a time for everyone to come in for fittings.

Bridal Party Gifts

You take care of gifts for your ’maids and he takes care of presents for his ’men. Just remind him not to wait until the last minute!

Come back on Wednesday for more great info for the groom!

Enjoy the planning!

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Top wedding invitation mistakes to avoid – Part 1

Choosing, personalizing, addressing and mailing your wedding invitations got you going crazy? Relax! Find out how to avoid these oh-so-stressful wedding invitation planning stressors.

Have Realistic Budget Expectations
Avoid wedding invitation “sticker shock” with planning and research. Before you get your heart set on the “perfect” invite, determine your estimated number of guests as well as your bottom-line budget. Also, don’t forget to consider the cost of postage and any additional stationery you’ll need, like response cards, reception cards and thank you note cards, when making calculations.

Order Everything At One Time
Make a list of everything you’ll need for your invitations and order everything at once. That way, all invitations, enclosure cards, envelopes and other items will be printed at the same time for a perfectly consistent look. A complete order right way will save you the panic of having to place an expensive last-minute order later.

Wedding Invitation Ensemble

Wedding Invitation Ensemble

Don’t Procrastinate!
A very common mistake in the wedding invitation process is not allowing enough time to choose, purchase AND print the stationery. Invitations should be mailed six to eight weeks in advance, and printing and addressing takes time. So when should you order them? We say no less than six months just to play it safe.

Come back Wednesday for more tips on avoiding invitation mistakes!

Enjoy!

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Jean M’s guide to renewing your vows

Across the nation, vow renewal ceremonies are gaining momentum. Even celebrities are jumping on the bandwagon. Read on for my tips on creating your own meaningful vow renewal celebration.

Vow Renewal

Q: What is a vow renewal?

A: A vow renewal is a ceremony of reaffirmation. More a sentimental event than an official one, a vow renewal is not legally binding. Rather, it is a deeply symbolic way for a couple to reaffirm their original promise to one another through vows.

Q: Who renews their vows? And is it common to do so?

A: Any married couple can renew vows. Couples often renew their vows to commemorate an anniversary (the ten-year mark and 25th anniversary are popular times to plan a vow renewal) or to mark the end of a difficult time in a relationship. Some couples re-celebrate after a hurried military wedding or with family living overseas. Some couples even choose to have a vow renewal celebration because they were unable to have the wedding of their dreams the first time around.

Q: Who typically hosts a renewal?

A: When the couple is celebrating an important milestone, such as an anniversary or a rejuvenation of love, the children of the couple may host the vow renewal. However, more often than not, it is the couple that hosts the ceremony – after all, it is a deeply intimate reaffirmation.

Q: Where is a vow renewal held?

A: Just about anywhere! Many couples choose to celebrate in their place of worship and perhaps even in the same church where they were married. Others choose more casual locations, such as the couple’s home, a park, aboard a cruise ship or in a remote vacation destination.

Q: How many guests do you invite?

A: Most vow renewal celebrations are small, intimate gatherings. However, vow renewals can be as simple or elaborate as the couple deems appropriate, and the guest list can be as short or as long as the couple wishes.

Q: What does the couple wear?

A: Traditional rules of etiquette do not mandate a particular wardrobe for vow renewal ceremonies. However, many women choose to wear a wedding dress or other special gown. Men often wear suits, tuxedos or military uniforms. Casual dress is also completely appropriate.

Q: How can you include children?

A: Couples seeking to involve their children in their ceremonies might consider reading a meaningful verse related to parenting or childhood or lighting a family unity candle.

Enjoy your reaffirmation of love!

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Ask Jean: Wording your invitations when your parents are divorced

Jean M

Q: My parents are divorced and I’m not sure how to include their names on my wedding invitations. I’m struggling – help!

A: It’s a sensitive topic, and I’m glad you’re giving it the attention it deserves! Here are my tips for wording your invitations when your parents are divorced – there ARE ways to do it!

 

If both parents are issuing the invitation…

Mother’s Name
and
Father’s Name
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter

Bride’s Name
to

Groom’s Name
(etc…)

If the mother or father is issuing the invitation and hasn’t remarried:

Mother’s Name / Father’s Name
requests the honor of your presence
at the marriage of her / his daughter

Bride’s Name
to

Groom’s Name
(etc…)

If mother or father are remarried and issuing the invitation:

Mother and Stepfather’s Name / Father and Stepmother’s Name

request the honor of your presence

at the marriage of her / his / their or mother’s name / father’s name daughter

Bride’s Name
to

Groom’s Name
(etc…)

Use these ideas as a guideline for writing your own wedding invitation wording in a way that best honors your parents and your family situation.

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Ask Jean: Seating divorced parents

Ask JeanQ: My parents are divorced. How do I arrange for seating them at the ceremony without causing anyone to be uncomfortable or feel left out?

A: It all depends on your parents’ relationship. If they are on good terms with each other, there’s no reason they can’t both be seated in the front row along with new spouses or significant others, if they have them. But if the relationship is strained, it may be most comfortable for your parents to be seated separately in the front two rows at your ceremony. I would recommend that your mother be seated closest to the aisle in the first row and your father be seated closest to the aisle in the second row. Their new spouses or significant others can be seated next to them inside the row. If your ceremony location has curved pews or seating, your parents could be seated at opposite ends of the first row as long as neither feels distanced from you during the ceremony.

Best wishes.

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Ask Jean

Ask JeanQ. My wedding is coming up soon and I’m wondering if I really need to have menu cards at my reception. Is it really necessary, or is it just an age-old tradition?

A. There’s really no set rule on the requirement for menu cards. It is at the discretion of the host, or in this case the bridal couple, if they want to use menu cards at their reception.

However, there are several good reasons to use menu cards –

The principle reason to use a menu card is that it’s a courtesy to your guests. It helps guide them through the mealtime activities so they will know what to expect. Your menu card can state whether the meal will be a buffet or if is will be served as a sit-down affair.

Additionally, menu cards are a great way to carry through your theme from the wedding and offer a complete, cohesive look at your reception. You will find numerous menu cards that coordinate with invitations, place cards and escort cards.

If you want to dress up your reception tables, menu cards can add extra color and pattern to each place setting. We have adorable round menu cards that will fit in nicely when placed atop a decorative plate charger.

Or, if your budget doesn’t allow for menu cards at each place setting, consider using two, back-to-back, in a stand on each table. That way everyone at the table will have an idea of what to expect during the meal.

See our selection of menu cards to get some ideas for your wedding!

Bon Appétit!

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Ask Jean

Ask JeanQ. I’m 26 and have been living on my own for three years. Should the return address on our wedding respond cards be my parents’ or mine?

A. A good question. Technically, invite responses should be sent by whomever is hosting the wedding, and the hosts are traditionally the people whose names are at the top of your invite. So if your parents’ names appear on the first line of your invitation, tradition dictates that they should get the response cards. If you and your fiancé are hosting, you should get the cards.

While this is partly a matter of tradition, I think it’s also one of practicality. Maybe you want to get the responses because you have the guest list and want to check off people’s names. In that case, it doesn’t make sense for responses to go to your parents’ house, as you’ll have to make extra trips to get them. If your mom is going to keep track of the guest list, it makes more sense for responses to go to her, even if you’re “hosting” the wedding. Do what makes the most sense for your situation — your guests won’t care either way.

Be sure to check out our wedding invitations with matching response cards for a completely coordinated look and theme!

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Shower DOs and DON’Ts

ShoweBridal Showerrs are one of the many exciting and fun parts of being a bride-to-be. You’re sure to be asked by groups of friends or relatives if they can throw you a shower. Unless the hostesses know you well, they may ask you what kind of shower you’d like. This is a great opportunity to offer ideas on what kinds of things you and your new husband will need or like most. At that point, the hostesses can plan what kind of gathering you’re most comfortable with: an open house, a formal party, maybe a couple’s shower, or an informal gathering of friends.

With the myriad of bridal shower options for today’s bride, there are still some good rules of etiquette and courtesy to follow that will help not only your hosts, but also your guests. As a gracious bride, here are some guidelines for bridal shower etiquette that will make everyone involved happier!

DO inform your hostesses of your gift preferences

DON’T demand only monetary gifts

DO provide your registry information for publication in the shower invitations

DON’T mention registry information in your wedding invitations (ever!)

DO graciously accept offers of multiple showers

DON’T invite everyone to every single shower

DO let your hostess(es) know how much you appreciate their generosity and thoughtfulness by giving them a gift

DON’T forget to give a thank you speech or a toast to the hostess(es) at the shower

DO include friends and family members on your shower guests lists

DON’T invite anyone to a shower who isn’t also invited to your wedding

DO send thank you notes for shower gifts within two weeks of the shower

DON’T mention in the thank you note if the gift was a duplicate and you intend to return it

Speaking of thank you notes, take a look at the thank you notes that we have. I’m sure you’ll find just the right one that you’re looking for!

Also, check out Michaels cute bridal shower invitations and napkins for shower ideas!

This is an exciting, happy time for all brides and by following these guidelines, it will be that much more joyful and fun!

Showering you with my best wishes,

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Ask Jean: Hostess Gift Ideas

Jean MQ. My friend is hosting a casual dinner and I’m invited. Should I bring a hostess gift?

A. It’s always appropriate and in good taste to bring a small gift to people who have opened their home to you, no matter how informal the gathering. The gift doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive – it could be a subscription to a cooking magazine, a bottle of the hostess’s favorite wine or a gourmet spice you know she’d enjoy. Once you’ve selected your gift, give it some pizzazz in the way you wrap it – in a bag stuffed with colorful shredded paper or in a printed kitchen towel. You can even go the extra mile and order ribbon printed with “Thank You” or another cute message to keep on hand for future gift decorating. When you deliver the gift, make sure you let the host or hostess know you don’t intend that it be used that day. Depending on the gift (wine or flowers), it can be awkward or cause them more work. Say something like, “Enjoy using this the next time you have friends over.”

Hostess Gift

Hostess Gift

Enjoy!

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